Fall Triumphant

by RC DeWinter

Title

Fall Triumphant

Artist

RC DeWinter

Medium

Painting - Digital Oils~paintography~photopainting

Description

Copyright 2014 RC deWinter ~ All Rights Reserved

I have been readying myself for my coming journey, both in the everyday mundane sense of planning and packing and also mentally.
It has been years since I have been adventurous, open to the unknown. I have kept my heart shrouded in darkness, my spirit confined to narrow well-known spaces that, while unsatisfying, are familiar and safe. Now I am about to leap into a strange new world, leaving all that is reassuring behind. Ironically, I am doing so in the season that I love best in all the New England year: autumn.
I will miss most of the great turning, nature's last hurrah before the killing kiss of winter. The brilliant colors, the indefinable scent of change in the wind, the chilly feet of frost tracing their temporary fractals on morning windows. The deep, cloudless blue midnights with the moon smiling down at me. This year I will be absent for the gathering of family and friends for the great Thanksgiving feast, the holiday that has become my favorite.
Adding to my anxiety is a shift in the tenor of life ongoing. I cannot name it, define it, but the feeling that something is out of joint is as palpable as the stone wall up in front of the driveway.
I'm excited but already missing what I haven't yet left all at the same time. But most of all, I'm...well, frightened isn't the right word...I'm not sure what is. All of these conflicting emotions tumble around in my brain as I lie in bed drifting to sleep, giving rise to restless visions.
Last night I dreamed I was walking in New Haven, late enough so that even in that city full of all-hours inhabitants, the streets were quiet. The moon lit Crown Street to a comfortable brightness, so I strolled down it from the corner of State Street toward the center of the city.
About a block in I came to an alley dividing two buildings in front of which stood a tree, quite deliberately preserved in concrete, branches spread wide like welcoming arms. It was dressed in a riot of color, a found living artpiece celebrating autumn. I stood before it, soaking myself in both its beauty and the moonlight.
Unexpected footsteps echoed on the sidewalk and I jumped, turning to see who approached and ready to run if need be. My heart stopped thumping when the stranger stepped out of shadow into light and my face crumpled in relief.
"What a turn you gave me, Vincent!"
He came up and stood close by me. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I should have made myself known before walking up on you. But like you, I am caught in the moonlight."
He waved a hand and continued, "But tell me why you are here when you should be peaceful in your sleep."
"I am conflicted," I confessed. "I have, as you suggested, said yes to life. But now I almost feel that life is saying no to me."
He frowned. "And why is this? Has something changed in the world or has something changed in you?"
"You know me, Vincent. When I commit to something I don't easily walk away. It's not me, it's external. Or perhaps it's just my perception of the external. But there is a new fear gnawing me, something beyond what I can control. It's not just saying a temporary goodbye to everything I know. The walking into something new now seems different from what I originally perceived."
"Ah yes," Vincent replied. "We labor under the delusion that we can be masters of our fate, and indeed there are many things we can manifest and control. There are other things that shape our destinies we cannot touch or influence. But you cannot be mired constantly in that sticky tar. Reach deep and pull up that bravery I know you have. If you have not changed, you will find your way again."
"I don't know, Vincent," I answered. "To be lifted so high and then dashed back onto the rocks might just drive me back into the darkness forever."
"Do not be so dramatic," he said. "Center yourself, you have done nothing wrong. You embraced life in good faith with an open heart. And if life once again disappoints, you will survive embrace it again. Now let us banish worry for the time being and enjoy the peace of this wondrous night."
And, standing side by side, that's what we did, admiring the tree and the moon and breathing deep the scent of autumn.
~ copyright 2014 RC deWinter

The full moon shines down on a beautiful tree on the sidewalk of Crown Street, New Haven, Connecticut, in autumn. Reimagined and painted in digital oils from an original photograph.

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Uploaded

October 12th, 2014

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